How to tell if you are dating your scanner


Some people play Ingress… a lot. So much so that it’s like having a significant other. With the advent of this type of technology, it was bound to happen that you would end up spending a lot of time with it. Here is a list of things to look for if you think you might be dating ADA. Score yourself on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being ‘That’s not me at all” and 5 being “OMG, I do that all the time”.

  1. Ingress is the first thing you open on your phone in the morning and the last thing you check before bed. Your phone might even sleep on the bed with you. If you don’t have notifications turned on, you just have to check which portals got attacked while you slept.
  2. You spend inordinate amounts of time playing. There is no denying Ingress is addicting. You want to spend quality time playing and suddenly you notice 8 hours has passed. Time flies when you are having a good time.
  3. You plan your outings according to portals. Unless you have been under a rock you probably have seen the meme where the woman asks the guy where he wants to go to dinner, and he says “let me check the Intel map”. Going to dinner, hanging out with friends, and shopping. All of these things revolve around your scanner.
  4. You tend to be a little possessive when your guardian or favorite portal gets attacked. It’s like someone is hitting on your significant other right in front of you. Technically they are, but instead of flirting, it’s bursters. Cue the cheesy Ingress related pick-up lines.
  5. You fondly reminisce about the times you’ve spent playing together. Making a BAF or when you got your latest platinum badge is a special occasion worthy of remembering and sharing with others.
  6. Getting a portal approved is like having a baby. You and your scanner have made this beautiful little portal and you can’t wait for it to get approved so you can help it level up, nurture it, and send it off into the world to become the best level 8 that it can be.
  7. You share meals together. Finding a restaurant with a portal means you are going to spend a lot of time staring at your phone and hacking a portal while you eat. Restaurants out of portal range sometimes are rejected as choices.
  8. You buy things for your phone. Surprising your phone with a shiny new portable battery is like buying your significant other a thoughtful gift. That Cheero really brings out the color in your scanner.
  9. What with all the constant scanner updating and the occasional brain farts that Ingress has where nothing seems to work, the relationship can become strained. You find yourself asking friends and other players for their advice.
  10. Losing your guardian is like breaking up with someone. You’ve spent the time to build, charge, and keep the portal safe and suddenly it’s gone. I’ve actually seen people lose their guardian and cry. Your friends will try to make you feel better by telling you it wasn’t meant to be or that there are other portals in the sea.

Let’s see how you stacked up.

If you scored a 50/50-you might actually be married to your scanner. If ya like it then ya better put a ring-tone on it.

If you score between 40 and 49-yup, you are dating your scanner. Congrats on your beautiful cross technical relationship!

If you scored between 30 and 39-You aren’t dating ADA, but you do have a great close relationship.

If you scored below 30, you have been friend zoned and actually have a social life outside of Ingress.

So are you dating your scanner or just good friends? Remember everyone, it’s ok to love your AI, just not LOVE your AI.